Responding Instead of Reacting

Happy Midweek guys!

At the beginning of the year, I had quite an incident at my work place.Nothing really dramatic, just kidding! It was so dramatic I considered quitting more than 6 times. 3 of them in my sleep and 3 when I was awake.

I will break it down. I have been in the position I am currently in for quite a while and as far as I was concerned I was kicking major ass . It was only natural that I saw a promotion coming or something close to that. Ha! Nothing of the sort happened(story for another day).

To add salt to the injury, I was eyeing a certain position internally and I even applied for it but it turned out someone else was better fit for it.

I got hysterical about it, frowned about it and actually held so much bitterness that it totally changed my attitude about work. It seemed the universe was just working against me.  I figured if I did the least everyday, maybe I could get my boss to see my worth. I could simply not see past it being personal.

This worked for a month or two until I started hanging around some very positive person and he would try relentlessly to get me to be open-minded about the incident.

To be honest, I thought he was just behaving like a manager and taking my boss’s side. Petty I know, but it took a while for me to look at things differently.

He kept telling me, ‘Ida you need to respond to things,not react’. I never really had thought of that in my 20 something years of existence. I have always reacted to things and people. Always.

I made a conscious decision to start responding to situations instead of reacting.

Then one day just like that I woke up feeling different. I decided that I am young , intelligent and I do what I do well. That is my power.I may not be where I wanted to be but if I really polished my art, I could get there.

It changed everything. My attitude was fixed, I had this new urge to be better everyday, I was asking questions and I was doing more. I started to dress up to work and after a long day, instead of cursing out I would have a glass of wine and look at the bigger picture.

Then it dawned on me that this is how shit works in the world. You want things to go a certain way and more often they do not. You hope for certain things and they do not happen. If you let that get to you, it starts to eat you inside. You get annoyed at everyone and  at no one in particular, every day is a bad day and you only get worse.

I realized that maybe it was a wake up call or a sign from God. I had been good but I could get better. Matter of fact, I could be the best.

What was needed of me all along was to push myself a little more and if this ugly incident hadn’t occurred , I could have easily remained the same.

My focus now is to get better in every aspect of my life and especially at work. I willingly get to work early, stay a little bit late when I have to and I am more determined than I have ever been. I am hungry to learn(I kid you not I am constantly reading on topics I feel could sharpen my brain and watching a lot of how to videos).

This world really does not owe me or anyone anything and that is just how it is. You want something, you  have to work hard enough until it cannot evade you.

I am now very aware of the people I hang around and the conversations I engage in  as they  greatly affect how I view and react to things. I avoid shallow and negative minds like a plague, because misery loves company.

I hope whatever obstacle life throws at you, you curve it like a pro. That you get better and not bitter.

Allow yourself to grow, to learn and to get over your disappointments without letting them get to you.

Learn to respond to life instead of reacting.

Onward and upward only good people!

To Us!

Here is to us!

For getting up every single day,looking fly and chasing our goals.

For holding homes, relationships and friendships together.

For bringing life to the word.

For being complex,dramatic and downright impossible half the time.

For breaking rules, too much lipstick and heels too high.

For all the dreams we hold, for all the bills we pay and for all the color we bring to the world.

May we never let go of our dreams.

May we never get broke.

May we never apologize for being us.

May we become better and never bitter.

May we fall and stay in love.

May we always make them wonder how we do it.

May this super power we have(being woman)always shine.iwd

 

Selfish?No it’s Called Taking Care of YOU First.

I remember growing up. I would look at my dad and wonder how he was always so nice to people. By people, I mean everyone even those people I felt did not deserve his kindness.

I often wondered, where he got the grace to just keep giving, keep helping, keep sharing and how he always did it with a smile.

I remember swearing to myself that I would never be like him and even pictured the tough woman I wanted to be. One who could easily say No! and never let people walk all over her.

Fast forward to now and I could swear I am just like him. Ha! The apple fell right next to the tree.

I have become just like him. So easy to give, to share , to lend, to listen and to forgive. I mean, sometimes I j ump into offering a solution even when it shouldn’t be any of my business. Not that I am complaining, I mean my papa clearly raised me right but where do you draw the line? When do you say no and decide to let people shoulder their own problems? How do you keep off those who are always looking out to take advantage of your kindness?

I was having this conversation  with a close friend and he solved it for me. He broke it down that sometimes you need to let people appreciate your kindness and genuine goodness by cutting it off . It sounded like such a terrible thing to do but I thought deep into it and it makes so much sense.

You might need to look around you and evaluate if what you give is what you get. All the love, respect, time and support you give your significant other, relatives, friends et al. If it isn’t reciprocated, it is okay to take it back.  Little by little or at once, you need to be selfish.

You need to start loving yourself. Shut people out, ignore some calls if you have to and do not feel bad about it.

See, what happens when you keep watering others, they drain all your water(hypothetical) and if you ever need some watering yourself  then you have nothing for yourself. So you dry up at the expense of others.

I am struggling to get into this mindset but it is something I  am determined to start believing in.

Here is to taking care of you first and not letting other people walk all over you or take advantage of your beautiful soul!blogpic

 

 

Two Weeks in Feels.

Happy New Year everybody!

I could be a bit late  on this but I usually have mixed feelings about the new year. It gets a little scary after evaluating what you did in the last 12 months and not having a lot to show for it. Do not get me started with all the resolutions and quotes on my social media timelines. It is all a little bit too much.

I will usually prefer to give it some thought before I set my goals.

I finally got the hang of it and to be honest for once, I am so excited about this year. It is like a white wall waiting for me to decorate and paint it however I see fit.

Allow me to share a few bits of how I intend this year to be for me.

1. What am I generally feeling about 2017?

I feel like it could my year of drastic decisions. In my career, my relationships and how I package and present myself to the world. I will be turning 25 in a few months and I just cannot afford to continue being average. It is the year I have to find myself and just really push myself to the best of my abilities. Cliche’? Watch me prove you wrong.

2. What’s the one-word I will live by in 2017?

Consistency.  I want to be consistent. Develop a few good habits that I can follow through all year. Fitness, savings, travelling and loving right precisely.

3: A book I read in 2016, that I am likely to re-read in 2017?

Ummm, none really.  I rarely read a book twice and I am not about to start doing that this year. I will however read at least one book every month. Books take me to cities I have never been to. Through the stories, I meet people and characters no one else knows about and I enjoy it so much.

Where I would love to visit (local and international place) in 2017 that I have never been before?

Well, I have not traveled as much as I would like to. Mostly because I have not been the most serious person when it comes to researching, planning and saving for the trips.Such a shame!

I have however vowed to change that and I am even in a chama that is strictly to save for travelling.

Locally,I want to go everywhere I have never been to. Cross out Masai Mara,Coast,Naivasha,Nanyuki and Magadi. Everywhere else.

Internationally,I want to go to Dubai with the girls from my family.We planned it last year and if my bank account cooperates I am all about it. I cannot wait to experience all that luxury and shop senseless.

If I could win the lottery though, I would go to Trinidad and Tobago for the carnival. Next month.

5. One bad habit I would want to drop in 2017?

Careless Spending. Enough said.

6. One thing I learnt in 2016 that I will carry on to 2017?

That you are the only who can catapult yourself to greater heights or limit yourself.

The brain is such a powerful tool and that person you see in the mirror can be your greatest friend or enemy.Feed your brain with thoughts of you winning, being better and I promise it will come to you.

In the same spirit, steer away from negative thoughts and people and all negativity will flee from you.

7. Top of mind, what are my top priority things I want to do in 2017.

  • I want to focus on more blogging. As a little girl, I could write really well and I never want to let that go. So yes!Expect a lot of great stuff from this space.
  • To be a better friend, daughter,  sister, cousin, employee, aunt e.t.c.  If everyone who matters to me smiles every time  they hear my name, I will have achieved most of it.
  • I want to make myself better in every single way I can.Online tutorials,random books, asking questions and even classes.Opportunities come when you least expect them and you can only seize them if you are well prepared.I will stay hungry in all aspects of life
  • To love,live and laugh a lot.
  • To make my house a home.I love to decorate and try out new designs and this year I want to make my house a real Pinterest home.

What will you be up to yourself? Share below.

Going for a Safari?Here is how to pack like a pro

Howdy!

I haven’t been here in a while but guess who is back.

A friend of mine recently asked me for advice on what they should pack to the Masai Mara and I couldn’t stop giggling  as she had given me a post idea.

Finally I can write about something that will actually help someone without coming off as too knowy!

I traveled to the Mara last year and it was all sorts of amazing. I probably packed up too much but now I know.

 The idea is to pack as light as you can and still have everything you will need. My advise have a little list(literally) so you tick off everything the night before.

Shirleen love, thank me after your trip.

1.Toiletries.

We all know how specific we are with the products we use and let us be real, the little lodge soaps are soooo annoying.

Save yourself the trouble and bring your own. Shower gel, lotion, toothbrush, toothpaste, ear buds, tampons, deodorant, mini perfume e.t.c

To save on space,you could squeeze them into smaller containers or buy really small ones for the trip. Remember to pack them together so nothing spills on your other stuff.

2.Chill Clothes.

After your game drive,you will miss your warm pajamas and  fuzzy socks as it get really cold especially if you are to sleep in a tent.Add in ear/eye muffs as you will be sure to hear a lot of hyenas laugh in the night.

3.Planned Outfits.

Plan your outfits as you pack so you know which top will go with which jeans. Carry versatile pieces eg. shorts and jeans so you save on space.

Make sure the clothes are really comfortable as you will be stuck in a van for a looong time.

Early morning and evening drives will be cold so carry a warm hoodie and a shawl(masai shuka is the most ideal) to be safe.

4.Medicines.

You do not want to be stuck very far away from chemists without your drugs. Be it painkillers, your inhaler, insects repellent e.t.c  Be prepared. You would rather carry them and not use them other than need them and not have them.

5.Your Gadgets + their chargers./Book

Your phone ,camera, i pod, and power bank.

You will need to stay connected and entertained right? Your chargers will come in handy to ensure this.

Charge them up in the evenings so you have enough charge to take all the pictures and make the rest of the world jealous.

6.Snacks and Drinks

The drive there is really long and you will crave stuff that you cannot easily access.

So crisps, biscuits, nuts ,soda and booze. Carry enough to last you the entire trip just in case they do not have your favorite Vodka at their bar.

7.Sling Bag

Remember you will need  asafari-pic bag to carry around that isn’t too heavy but fits all you need for the day.

Carry some cash  to pay for the park fees and to buy souvenirs.

8.Sunglasses and Hat.

You know the drill, it is not a vacation until these two come to play.

It is very important that your pics look really good and you also do not want to get burnt by the sun.

9.Your adventurous spirit, an open mind and a crazy fun friend!

Start the trip with a very open mind.Ready to meet new people,experience new things and see the loveliest sunsets and sunrises.

 Make as many friends as you can and learn a new word if you can.

NB: It is important to inquire prior about the weather  so you know exactly what clothes to carry.

Cheers to our Parents!

 

Hello there,

I hope you are having a lovely Friday and that this year is working out well for you.Well,for me not so much.

A lot has been going on and so far 2016 has not been very kind or easy to me.I recently lost some very close people,there is a lot of uncertainty in my career and I just generally feel like I need to take a whole different direction with my life.I am not sure where to start or how to go about it but I know I need to think a lot of 8442f1fe3e45cc2553909916b4901a6cthings over.

Anyway enough of the serious stuff,just sitting in my living room listening to some very good house music on a Friday is already giving me such a good vibe.I took a few days off from work and I am beyond thrilled.I get to my parent’s for the weekend.Whoop whoop!! That might sound like a very normal thing alright but when your parents live about 150 kms from Nairobi,seeing them is always grand.Just getting there is a journey.They halt up everything for you, make special food for you and you get all their attention for about 40 hours straight.

I am also super excited as I get to finally take my Mother’s day gift to my mama.She has no idea I got her something so I really cannot wait to see the look on her face when I get home.

I got her a very cute pair of rubbers and I am just about to go buy her a kiondo from Masai Market.You know those very stylish yet traditional ones that every woman in Nairobi seems to have? Yes that one!

I also got a tattoo of something that signifies her name somewhere on my body but I really pray she does not see that.She is exactly not very receptive of some things and I have absolutely no plans for fights this weekend.I am really crossing my fingers for that one.

The most important thing though is not the gifts but to let our parents know that we appreciate and love them .They have given up so much for us and the least we can do is call them often and treat them like the kings and queens they are.

I hope you are all thinking of what to get the dads for father’s day(19th June) and that this post somehow inspires you to call up your parents more,visit them and when you can splurge a little and spoil them.

I will share a post on gift ideas for the dads so look out for that.

Lovely weekend to you and yours reader!